You Need to Want It

I won’t lie… these past couple months (aside from the week leading up to BFF’s wedding) have not been good. I’m nearly ten pounds up from my supposed “happy” weight. My pants are a little snug now that I think about it. :(

Mostly I’ve eaten what I wanted and however much I wanted most of the time, tracked sporadically, but generally made good choices when not faced with treats. Or going out to eat adventures which have happened a lot more than I’d like to admit. With graduation, the stress of work, and all that jazz, it’s been crazy and that really transferred through in my dietary choices. Activity is the only thing that has been relatively constant and for that I’m grateful. I have news about a new fitness opportunity that I’ll fill you in on a little later.

Now I’ve settled into two part-time jobs, a news broadcasting internship and an admin assistant position. Let’s just say it was an absolute circus for most of May trying to get everything figured out and a trip to Vegas in the middle of it didn’t help.

It has been almost a constant battle since… Oh, snap! I can’t even pin it to a date/month/anything, so what does that tell you? It’s been a while. I’d tell myself that I want to make the changes back to my healthy habits but then I wouldn’t follow through. Apparently I didn’t want it badly enough because my efforts were less than lackluster. I’d start a day off great and then slip and slide until I went to bed. Or I’d make some really great choices but then I’d immediately follow it by a treat because I’d “worked” hard enough for it.

But I’ve had enough! This morning, I stood in front of my mirror for a good two minutes talking to myself.

No more excuses! You need to do this! You care enough about yourself and your body to know that your behavior has been completely unacceptable and inexcusable. You want to be healthy. You are strong and fit but the eating habits need a huge makeover. Though the habits have been there before, we all need to be reacquainted to be best friends again. Now is the only time to take these steps. Later doesn’t exist. Only now. And you want this now and forever! Plus, if you’re paying to use the online tools, why waste the money to not use them? You know you want this, just do it!”

So here I go… weighed and measured myself this morning. Wasn’t pretty but my new determination will help them get back to the “happy” zone. Tracking all the things (using Allie Brosh as inspiration for that)! And hopefully being able to provide support for you all here and to get it in return. I miss you guys so much, it’s not even fun.

I will no longer allow busy-ness to be an excuse to be lazy with my health.