My body is sore, yes. That would be from the Pole Fitness classes from Tuesday and tonight. I may be lucky if I can walk without wincing tomorrow.

There was another kind of an ouch moment tonight… It’s a bittersweet one.

My mom asked if I was up. Just casually. I told her yes–but that I am in the process of taking back my control. She asked how much I was up. I told her 160 (only 4 pounds off my lifetime range). She said, “Whoa. Yeah, I thought I noticed.” — Um… ouch?

Love the honesty. The part I hate was that four/five pounds is really that noticeable. Now that blows my mind. I mean, I could tell by how certain pants fit but I didn’t think anyone else would really notice since it’s such a small number and I stand at 5’9″. Surely my weight would be evenly distributed and not screaming, “Hey! Look, I’ve gained weight!”

I guess that’s not the case.

What doesn’t help is that during my first week of being back on track, someone in our house brought my ultimate trigger into it. If anything containing any combination of chocolate and peanut butter is within a mile of me, odds are I will sniff it out and devour it so it’s not around (it’s too good to throw away, I’m sorry). And I’ve had my share in the past couple days of them. Tracked, of course. But still… if it’s not in the house, I’m not constantly thinking about it thus not making a beeline for it first thing in the morning and right when I get home.

Fortunately, my mom informed me that she’s for sure coming back to WW this week (like she has said for the past month) and no more of these kinds of temptations will be brought into the house. This better hold true. The next time I find anything resembling a peanut butter cup in this house, all h-e-double-hockey-sticks is going break loose. There will be yelling. There will be tears. If they must be in the house, they must be there without my knowledge and hidden so well that I would never run across them. I consider myself to have decent self-control… except when it comes to treats like this.

This is the one thing I HATE about living at home–it’s an environment that I can only have so much control over. If I could have complete control… that’s the day I’m waiting for.

Ouch! Those Reeses aren’t going to give me the abs I want… No more!
Ouch! But thanks for the honesty, mother.
And Ouch! I hope I’ll be able to walk tomorrow.


Shallow Reflections

Yeah, this isn’t going to be some deep reflection on my maintenance/loss journey… I’m talking about those reflections that you walk by on a day to day basis.

Yesterday, while walking down to our football game, I passed a new reflecting window and stopped right in my tracks.  Here was my thought process:

Are those my legs?  Is that my butt?  DANG!  They look good!  I swear my butt hasn’t looked like this sense high school… Oh snap, better keep walking or someone will think I’m a weirdo checking myself out in the window.

(And my fellow intern who is a guy just read that over my shoulder and we are now both cracking up! I’m pretty mortified right now…)

I would like to give Pole Fitness its dues.  Because… wow.  I’m stunned at the changes all around my body since I started it about two months ago.  My abs have some crazy definition when I am in certain positions, my back looks a little more like a swimmer back, and yes, my lower body has never looked better.  Even my new jeans I wore last night were not as tight as they were when I first bought them.

Yes, I’m shallow.  But oh-em-gee… it feels good when you notice those kinds of changes!

What are your favorite changes that you’ve noticed in your body?
I’m giving you permission to be as shallow as a puddle. ;)

5 To Vegas!

So I’m in a little need of stepping up my game.

A trip to Vegas is coming up this weekend!  I know that doesn’t give me much time and I’m not expecting to see anything drastic.  A recovery from this weekend is definitely needed though.  Went out for dinner both Saturday and Sunday, had a little activity but not much (Pole fitness! I’m getting better!), and my body is certainly feeling it.  Commence Operation 52V!

It’s going to be very, very hot down there. So I will likely be wearing clothes that expose a little more than jeans-and-tees me is used to (including the lovely cream summer dress I bought on sale this weekend).  So the objective here is to feel  fabulous clubbing and at the poolside! =)

Here are my 5 objectives to help me feel fabulous in time for the weekend:

~ Take all of my vitamins and minerals (D-1000, calcium/magnesium/something-else, fish oil, biotin, and of course, my daily gummy)
~ Begin and end each day with a cup of tea
~ Activity every day!
-Monday: Elliptical 67 minute program, arms/abs work.
-Tuesday: Go to the gym and ride a bike for 45-60 minutes, depending on plans.
-Wednesday: Body Pump & Zumba Fitness.
-Thursday: Hoping to do a Zumba DVD if it gets here, if not then elliptical again, major stretching since Body Pump will kick my butt and I know I’ll be sore.
-Friday: Likely dancing the night away in Vegas! =)
~ Make a strong, conscious effort to choose wholesome foods over junk and over-processed things.
~ Stick with water, milk, and tea if I want a drink. No diet soda or alcohol (until I get to Vegas anyways :P).

I’ll document these in my blog this week as I go. Today so far, looking good!  Good breakfast and lunch choices, had about 70 oz of water thus far, gummy and D vitamins knocked out (I take the other ones with dinner), activity is planned for right after work, and had some tea this morning.

I think where I’ll struggle is dinner. It’s never planned and I think I’m due for a date this week and I know for sure that I’m going out with a buddy tomorrow night. Again, I’ll do my best with what I’m given!

Here’s to feeling amazing for this weekend!

What do you do to amp up your program when it’s needed?

The Days of Spanx

The dress I’m wearing today I bought in my junior year of high school.  Looking back then, I never wore this dress without spanx because of the smoothing effect it had on my “curves”.  I didn’t have rolls but I liked the look of a sleeker figure that spanx gave me.

Even though my last pair of spanx ripped nearly a year and a half ago, I have not had the need to wear spanx in a long time!  Every time I’ve worn this dress, spanx are underneath almost without fail.  While walking around today I realized that.  It’s amazing to me to think that I don’t even want to wear them anymore!

What’s scary is that I look better in this dress now than I did in high school. It’s kind of freaking me out. Back then I didn’t realize how… not in shape I was.  Or how badly or how much I was eating.

The biggest thing here is that–my body is pretty much exactly where I want it to be.  Now all it needs is a little more firming in the backside department.

Spanx can only do so much.  They can’t make your habits changes or firm your body up.  That only comes with being aware of what is going into your body in order to alter it so it befits a healthier lifestyle and moving that tush in some way or another.  This program truly is designed for transformations to help us regain control in our lives and our bodies. Gotta love it! =)

Do you long for the day when things like spanx aren’t needed anymore?  Don’t give up wherever you are on your weight loss or maintenance journey! You are worth having a healthy body for!

In My High Heels

I’m in love with my Jessica Simpson black pumps.  They are hot.  I wore them for the first time out last night.  And now I’m wearing them at work with a pencil skirt and… just… yeah. I love them. =D Which brings me to an intriguing thought…

Does walking/running/dancing in high heels burn more calories than without?  Is it a more effective workout in some way?

Because it should be! Do guys even know how much work it is to walk in heels let alone be coordinated on the dance floor or to even run to catch the bus/train in 2-4 (sometimes even 5!) inch death traps?

There is definitely something that heels can do for a woman, granted they don’t topple over in them.

One- They make our legs and tushes look so much better.
Two- I don’t know if it’s the height or what, but I’ve noticed that girls tend to be a bit more confident when they pop on their favorite pair of high heels.
Three- Maybe they just make us feel sexy!

Here’s my favorite high heels quote for you.  Compliments of She’s the Man.

“I will pick out my own dress. And no, I will not wear high heels. Because heels are a male invention designed to make women’s butts look smaller… and to make it harder for them to runaway.”

=D Have a good one!

Horribly Scatterbrained

I left my ID, 2 credit cards, and Blackberry at home today… All because of the stress I’m undergoing because of my body. I’m seriously reconsidering my competency to even work today. That and I’m just fighting back the tears at my desk. Forgive me, but I need to get out my frustrations.

Last week, I started taking BC just to be safe rather than sorry and I’d rather be prepared when that “time” comes.  Now I’m seriously considering going off it.  Here’s my reasoning: (warning–potential TMI)

Reason #1 BC Gets Chucked~ I had broken out (acne) shortly before and it was just about gone when I started BC (Tommy does that, totally expected and doable). My acne flared up even worse after starting BC. My skin hasn’t been subjected to this bad of acne in two years. It’s bad. It’s only because of diligent use of my Proactiv system twice a day that it even is improving at a decrepit, old snail-like pace. That and the application of Neosporin twice daily as well on the ones that I couldn’t help but try and get rid of with my fingers (thus becoming sores). It’s bad. I’m never self-conscious about my skin… never. And now I’m truly embarrassed to be see in public because of how bad my face is. =(

Reason #2 BC Drives Me Nuts~ I’ve felt bloated for the past week. Not horrible, but its not comfortable in the slightest. I’d like to be able to look in the mirror and see the muscles that were there last week. (Yes, I miss my amazing abs… I’m not ashamed to admit it.) And my pants that are usually way loose aren’t. Just comfortable. Worries me.

Now the clincher…

Reason #3 BC Deserves to Die~ I weigh myself daily (don’t tell me to not… it works for me).  I understand the daily fluctuations of my body. I know that if I eat a particularly sodium filled or steak dinner, I’ll likely be up a few ounces to a pound… but that goes away.  True to form, I weighed myself the day I went into the OB/GYN.  One day later, I was up a pound. Two days, my WI day, I was up a little more.  And it hasn’t let up.  Since starting BC, I’m up nearly 4 pounds as of my scale this morning.
I know that this week has been a struggle foodwise–I don’t have any weeklies left but activity points are still plentiful and that usually means I’m ok. I’ve been active nearly every single day, even getting some great workouts like pole fitness (still sore too!), Zumba, a wonderful hour-long park workout, and walking all over downtown yesterday. I get well over my water (have for years so it’s natural for me to drink 100+ oz), fruits and veggies are never forgotten, same as my daily multivitamin, and I have at least one cup of green tea a day. A gain of this magnitude is completely unwarranted. Is it even normal?

I know people say to wait to let the hormones in your body regulate after starting BC, but at this rate I’m terrified to continue and it’s only been barely over a week. I literally cannot watch that scale go any higher and the acne certainly cannot stay. This is my first emotional moment since starting so I don’t think I’m having issues with that. The scale this morning pushed me over the edge.

So here’s my plan for this coming week:

  • Stick to my dailies and if I need to dip into weeklies, no more than 5 a day though at most.
  • Get as many of my GHG’s as possible, which ultimately means I need to refrain from extraneous spending of points on not-as-healthy foods.
  • Cut out diet soda as much as it kills me.
  • Exercise everyday. I’m setting up a daily plan on this right now. No excuses. I’m even considering canceling my plans tonight just so I can get in a decent workout… (then wallow in my room covering my face)

If there is no improvement within a week, I may just have a heart attack and die. Or just stop taking the BC. If there’s improvement, then I’ll at least finish this pack of pills.

I’m open to thoughts on this… I’ll step off my soap box now. Venting was much needed. Maybe now I can get some work done…

It’s Darker Just Before the Dawn

So that thing I was talking about yesterday? Didn’t happen… turns out there was a glitch with my body that makes it so my body can’t hold it. Oh, well life goes on and you find something else that will work! (ps: anyone ever tried Loestrin before and if it affected your weight? haha) Thanks everyone though for the well wishes!

What I’m constantly being fascinated by lately is that even though something not-so-good happens, it is usually followed by something great that wouldn’t have happened if the not-so-good hadn’t happened. Case in point: I got to do Body Pump and Zumba last night =)

So my BFF is getting married in a little less than a year, I think I mentioned that yesterday as well, and last night we got the chance to try on our bridesmaid dresses. All I can say is my BFF is the best bride ever… even though I’ve never been a part of a wedding before.  The dresses are amazing!  They are Victoria Secret Convertible dresses that you can wrap and fashion in many, many ways. BFF wants all 6 of us to have ours different.

You know how a lot of brides say you can reuse their bridesmaid dress but more often that not, that is a lie?  I was concerned about this… However, this is one of those dresses that I will probably use for the rest of my life!  No lie… I could use it for anything because of its versatility.  I was having so much fun experimenting and wrapping myself up in weird ways not even listed on the guide card. At one point, my design was so hilarious and made my buhbies look so huge that my BFF had to take a picture as everyone else rolled on the ground in laughter.

But my end result is an original Mikael creation… and it’s hot and perfect and just… yeah… I think it’s the best. The other girls look great too!  But mine is original from my own mind so it makes me feel a little more like it is the right fit for me instead of following a guide card design. It’s all me! BFF said she’d send me the picture so hopefully I can post it here so ya’ll can see.

BFF also would like for me to sing at her wedding… And I’m really tempted to write and produce a song just for them. Piano and violin as the music, me thinks. She said a slow one so that’d be perfect. We’ll see how it turns out!

Can’t wait to go play with my cousins tonight!

Do you believe in karma? Or for every bad thing, there is a good thing?


Ugh… I hate coming home.  It’s so depressing.  And it doesn’t help that I always come home to rain and I hate rain!

On the upside–my pants feel looser!  Now if only the buttocks would firm up.  That’s the tough part.  Must have been all the dancing this weekend though.  It was so fun!  Much needed. 

Stress from home evaded me until I hit Vegas in a sense, then something “started”, and last night a whole bunch of carp hit the fan in the cleanest yet messiest way ever.  If that made any sense to you, you are now my new best friend.  ;)  Zumba tonight will help. I find that being active helps keep my mind off it.  But hopefully I can take care of the issue after work. A lot of my weeklies have gone to… ahem… yeah. Helpers of stress in the means of chocolate and alcohol.  Luckily the dancing balances it out nicely!  Haha!

Oh my gosh! I just remembered I’m going to a black tie gala dinner tomorrow night. Eesh, I don’t know what to wear, what food will be served or anything!  Hopefully something tasty but still plan friendly. 

Is it bad to go below the 2 pound leeway for your Lifetime?  What happens if you do?  I’ve been curious about this lately.


That’s all that can be said about this weekend.

Yesterday, I went to my WW meeting, per usual then I worked out for 90 minutes while watching the Tudors. The day was very good as far as WW goes–hit all my GHG’s except for oils. Today wasn’t as good, but I at least tracked everything ;)

I went to see Alice in Wonderland with a good friend. Not the best movie I have ever seen, but the kid in me thoroughly enjoyed it. The imagery was lovely and I loved all the hidden and obvious references to Lewis Carroll’s legendary stories. The Alice stories have always been some of my very favorites.

Also my favorite author, Jodi Picoult, just came out with a new book so I asked my step dad to get it for me (I paid him back, no worries)–called House Rules. With midterms coming up this week, reading it has been the best thing ever despite putting my studying on hold! I haven’t had leisurely reading since early January because of my huge reading load for school. It really is a nice stress relief. And I’m totally attached to the characters so far. Reading for fun, especially this book, gets me thinking in new ways which can help me with my studies. And actually, my creativity has had a huge boost ever since starting to leisure read again. =)
But the most fascinating part of my weekend was doing some closet cleaning today. This is what I discovered:
  • 7 pairs of jeans no longer fit me, and 2 others were actually damaged and forgotten hidden in the back of my closet. I gave the 7 to my brother’s girlfriend. I’ve cut the number of jeans in my closet by about 28%
  • The dress I wore for my Sweethearts dance as a sophomore in high school–which didn’t fit me during my senior year when I wanted to wear it again–fit me! I could not contain my squeals of joy! It’s a 6 =)
  • I am back to the weight that I was at during my junior year of high school except my body is a little more “womanly” if you will.
  • And that I have more clothes than I’ll ever need. And shoes. My mom and I have a shopping problem… most girls do right?
I’ve decided that I want to have a goal this week: practicing self-control. My mom made a batch of those irresistable cookies… so my goal is to abstain from them. I had a little cookie dough today because the dough is 10x better, so I figured that could be my fix to stay away from them for the rest of their stay in my kitchen.
I need to learn how to say no to the temptations in my house. I know this is going to be really hard, but if I don’t then I won’t have the healthy body that I desire. I’m going to comment on my progress every day. Need to stay accountable right?
Hope you all are having lovely weekends!
Have you cleaned out your clothes to get rid of the “too big” yet? Do you think it would help you stay motivated?

Skinny Jeans

Skinny jeans used to be the scurge of the earth in my world.  They never flattered any figure and I’d always just wonder how anyone, no matter what size, could squeeze into those things. I never liked them. Especially not on me. I have thick athletic calves that skinny jeans would get stuck on, both coming on and going off.

But when I reached my weight goal, my mom took me out jeans shopping.  As chance would have it, I ended up loving the pair of Express skinny jeans I tried on.  They gave me an opportunity to wear hot pumps that I haven’t worn since I bought them (years ago, I swear!).  They were a good investment in my book.

And to my shock and awe–they actually looked good!  Never thought I’d see the day in all honesty.  But I wore them today since my cute Sketchers snowboots can fit over them (we got a motherload of snow last night and it’s still going on!).  When I got to the office, I didn’t want to take them off.  I was dreading it!  They flatter me so much better than my work slacks… haha.

It’s weird what you end up liking, isn’t it?  Goes to show that trying something even though it may not “suit” you can be a good thing and you may even discover you actually like it! =)

Hope you all are having a fabulous Friday!

Which style trend is your favorite?